Hats off to you Parents at Christmas!!!! I admire you!

This Christmas was definetely different for me. I worked on Xmas eve, then hurried to make it to church.

While I was sitting there chuckling at all the parents in the sanctuary watching their kids like a hawk to make sure they didnt burn the place down with their little candles, my phone goes off (vibrate, WHEW! glad I remembered to turn off the sound).

I shake hands and go outside to meet a 35 mph blistering cold wind and see who was blowing me up on Xmas Eve, on my work phone none the less.... It was one of my coworkers asking if I had anything going on tonight.

My current life situation does not include any children. Nor have I tricked a young lady into hanging around for more than a few months... I guess I need to double up on the rufies from now on.... JUST KIDDING FOLKS!!! So my Xmas eve plans are pretty non-existent.

I give him a call, and he sounds all out of breath and stressed out. "Church, I need some help. I bought this HUGE clubhouse swingset thing for my kids for Xmas and I didnt know it was going to be this complicated."

Being the most awesomest person in the world that I am, I run to the house, grab some UnderArmor, mud boots, and the 12,695 piece Craftsman tool set and make the hour trek to Humble at 8pm.

I was hungry as all get out so I figured I would grab a bite to eat on the way. Wrong Answer. Everything was closed up. Finally found a gas station. Dinner tonight was pork rinds and a diet coke, cuz they outweigh each other healthwise.

I finally get to my buddy's house. We get our first hernias just unloading the two 559lb boxes. We open them up... BAM!!! First blood drawn when a staple grabbed my finger.

The boxes are full of about 200 different pieces, of wood ALONE! Then I discover the hardware.... WHOA.... 5-6 bags of a billion screws, nuts, bolts, washers... all different lengths and sizes.. (Who designs this crapp!!!! Why cant they use the same sized sockets on EVERYTHING).

Break out the NOVEL of directions and get started. Note, it is now 9pm.... we are in a quiet neighborhood on the front driveway, yelling at each other to get out of the way of the ONLY light that we had... haha... Banging around the garage, smashing boards together, and cussing when we trip over everything that we have strowed out.

AWESOME!!! Finally finished the base of the thing... Start on the next big section. Sweet!!! We are making good progress!!! WRONG!!! Half the boards are on UPSIDE DOWN!!! Time to take it apart and start over....

Each screw and bolt are .25" different from the next set, so you have to measure EACH one to make sure you have the right one. Each board has different TINY hole patterns and are sized differently by 1/2s of inches... Why dont they just label these things on the boards?? With a stamp or something! Anything!!!

Finally done with the frame of everything, so its time to go warm up. Go inside to watch his wife slaving just as hard over putting a bike together in the living room. Its now midnight, kids are dreaming of sugar plums and all that jazz.... Oh wait!!! Here they both come sneaking around the corner for a peak!!!! CHEATERS!!!!! Momma dives to cover the presents and Dad chases the 4 and 6 year old back to bed.

We eat a few of Santas cookies and head back out to the driveway to finish this thing. Wait? Where are the directions? They were just right here!!! 45 minutes later, we find them 3 houses down in a puddle of water.... Thank you wind and thank you rain for making our task just that much harder. Temperature is now 36 degrees, wind still blowing its ASSS off and we are huddled around a hair dryer trying to dry this book out.

The clubhouse finally starts taking shape, but how am I supposed to get these screws in??? Oh, you have to climb INTO it??? Whats the max weight on this thing? 100 POUNDS!!! Um, you first buddy, I will supervise from out here.... 100 pounds is the recommended limit, but with the skills we have, that number has got to have dropped to about 60lb limit.... Im 3 times the limit... I can just see the news story now. Jungle Gym Collapses and Injures Guy Who Had No Business Climbing His Fat *** In It.

We are working numb now and feeling the pressure cuz the last look at the phone showed 3am, and we still have a ways to go. Ipod still blaring, hammers pinging, drills drilling..... I bet he gets the Neighbor of the Month award for December...

With about 6 boards left, I begin to wonder why some of these boards have a 10 digit number barely stamped on their ends.... Oh wait... the boards WERE labeled!!! Excellent, 9 hours ago!!!!!

The last few boards need to be "customized" with a circular saw.... at 430am...

Alas, we are finally done!!!! Its 5am, freezing cold, wind still rediculous and a pile of extra pieces that we have no idea where they belong.... hopefully not load bearing pieces... We stand back and look at our accomplishment... A little lopsided, but we can fix that with some wire and a few 2x4s later...

And now for the event of the decade.... how in the WORLD are we going to get this thing in the back yard???????????????

By now, its crunch time, so the gates come of the hinges, we lean this fine creation into the bed of a truck and back that puppy back there.... leaving 10 inch ruts all the way, mud spraying all over us and the jungle gym...

Finally get it set up and can breathe a sigh of relief..... its 6am.... wow.

I grab my stuff, say my goodbyes while he is waking his wife up from a pile of presents on the living room floor.

I back out of the driveway, lights off, worn out, freezing cold and ready for an hour drive back to my bed....

DOH!!! I forgot my good boots!!! I pull back around to their house, get out of the truck and RIGHT as Im about to grab my boots, I hear a blood curdling shriek from the back yard...

Shrieking of a 4 year old boy and a 6 year old girl who just found their jungle gym. Shrieking about how they told Santa they wanted one sooooooo bad. And sloshing around in the mud playing in it in the dark and freezing cold....

As cliche as it sounds, that noise made all the trips, falls, cuts, slams, mishaps, frozen fingers, empty stomachs and heavy eyelids totally worth it.

This year was the first time that I had seen what parents go through for their kiddos on Xmas.... Ive only seen it from a kids perspective when I was growing up.... Wow.... My hats are off to you Moms and Dads out there.... And especially to my parents, who did everything they could every year to make sure we were happy.

Whelp, time to go back to bed now. Just had to get my morning fix of 2cool in.

Merry Christmas everybody!!!!!!!!

-CHURCH

Hats off to you Parents at Christmas!!!! I admire you! Progress

Aww you're such a sweet guy for helping to make those childrens' Christmas morning. Thanks for sharing. And wow at your writing talent. Church is something else, guys!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone and hope you all have a wonderful time with family and friends.

Church your story just made my Christmas morning even better.

Dan

Now that is the true Christmas Spirit! I tip my hat to you sir! Merry Christmas!!

wow Church!!! you are the man!!!

Way to go Church!! And yes it is a chore trying to be more creative and sneaky each year as the kids become more and more aware each year, it's rough but as you saw and felt it's worth it when you see the kids faces light up on Christmas morning! Just wait till you have kids of your own, it's even better when they are your own!!

wow dude you should be a alaskan crab fisherman or something ur tough! and merry christmas dude u earned it bro